Jeremy Clarkson On Twitter at Celebrity Tweets

celeb tweet user Jeremy Clarkson

Followers: 2,822,381 as of 21 Apr 14 00:27:02

Bio: I am a presenter on the BBC2 motoring show,Top Gear.


Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Apologies to all seated near me. I may have called the ref a bad word.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Apr 2014 18:55
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Apparently, I've nearly finished hosting Have I Got Newts For You.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Apr 2014 20:23
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I fear some of you haven't studied Hugh's post carefully before replying.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 17 Apr 2014 08:19
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 14 Apr 2014 18:28
  • A shit day http://t.co/LzvsQ4I1hx
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
I've just realised that there is something worse than trying on trousers. Applying sun cream.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 11 Apr 2014 14:18
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14 years ago today, my birthday cake was stolen by the chairman of the FA.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 11 Apr 2014 12:44
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I take it all back. Despite the tyre and fuel conservation issues, it was a tremendous motor race.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 06 Apr 2014 19:45
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Look after your tyres. Save fuel. Drive slowly. Be careful.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 06 Apr 2014 15:16
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I'm bored and it hasn't even started yet.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 06 Apr 2014 14:58
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
It is a good play. And nobody sings.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 04 Apr 2014 17:53
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I'm not a natural theatre enthusiast but I must say: Fatal Attraction was very very good. Even though one rabbit was a bit boiled.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 04 Apr 2014 17:46
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Come on everyone. Keep up. Fatal Attraction: rabbit. Basic Instinct: beaver.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 03 Apr 2014 17:53
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To be clear, Sharon Stone exposed her lady's area in Basic Instinct. Fatal Attraction was the boiled rabbit.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 03 Apr 2014 17:49
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Rabbit is my favourite meat. Apart from duck.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 03 Apr 2014 17:44
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I'm going to see Fatal Attraction at the theatre tonight. Apparently, it's very good.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 03 Apr 2014 17:40
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RT @FootbalIStuff: Never celebrate too early https://t.co/MERiLLrQTk
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 31 Mar 2014 22:05
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Looks pretty racist to me. pic.twitter.com/fzBtotEsXR
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2014 16:26
  • Looks pretty racist to me. http://t.co/fzBtotEsXR
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
And now, if you'll forgive me, I'm shutting down. I really do have more important things on my mind.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2014 16:33
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Lizzie Edmonds from the Mail bills herself as a journalist. Hahaha. Trust me on this love, you aren't.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2014 16:28
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Nothing damages journalism more than the Mail online. They absolutely could not give a shit about the truth.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2014 16:20
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I'm grateful for all the messages of support over the Mail's story. You need to know that web site is run by lazy, useless fuckwits.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2014 16:16
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Both Russian
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2014 09:57
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Two very brave men. pic.twitter.com/HQ8W8374Pi
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2014 09:54
  • Two very brave men. http://t.co/HQ8W8374Pi
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Oh well. At least BOAC's wonky 707 has given the Mail a stick to beat me with tomorrow.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2014 14:57
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The oxygen masks have deployed. Goodbye everyone. pic.twitter.com/AjqxckFgln
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2014 14:09
  • The oxygen masks have deployed. Goodbye everyone. http://t.co/AjqxckFgln
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Landing now. I'm still in the lead.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2014 13:54
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Yup. Still winning pic.twitter.com/TSNzADB8zB
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2014 10:25
  • Yup. Still winning http://t.co/TSNzADB8zB
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
The race to Moscow begins. At the moment, I'm in the lead. pic.twitter.com/rcA7sriOTA
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2014 10:24
  • The race to Moscow begins. At the moment, I'm in the lead. http://t.co/rcA7sriOTA
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Disaster. I'm out tonight so I'm going to miss the baby sheep programme.
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 23 Mar 2014 18:29
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RT @allottnick: @JeremyClarkson Quite surprised to find the Allmans had sunk so low as to nick the Top Gear theme tune. #runningoutofmaterial
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 23 Mar 2014 06:57
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Is there a fire drill? pic.twitter.com/zEdJMMNjFi
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 22 Mar 2014 14:40
  • Is there a fire drill? http://t.co/zEdJMMNjFi
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
RT @Octavia428: @JeremyClarkson @RichardHammond A retweet would be hugely appreciated! No cars, but lots of horsepower! http://t.co/43OHYD7http://t.co/43OHYD7CP6
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 21 Mar 2014 17:01
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My son left his wallet in a black cab on Tuesday. Today, it was returned by an anonymous Halo driver. You sir are a steely eyed missile man.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 21 Mar 2014 14:15
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Now seriously. Leave me alone. I've got a job to do.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Mar 2014 21:02
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I'm not going to box Piers Morgan. I'm too busy. But I know plenty of people in the British Army who'll gladly take my place.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Mar 2014 20:59
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RT @oye1112: @JeremyClarkson  - The English didn't think this through very well. http://t.co/0eEN81A6zc
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Mar 2014 12:05
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London cab drivers. Did any of you just take two lads from Euston to Fulham Road? One left his wallet in the back.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2014 18:54
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I thought I wasn't on television for a bit. But no. Michael McIntyre. Tonight. BBC something. 10.something.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 17 Mar 2014 20:29
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Two BBC producers talking BBC things. pic.twitter.com/PnmIEe8gXK
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 17 Mar 2014 16:48
  • Two BBC producers talking BBC things. http://t.co/PnmIEe8gXK
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Holy Moly. Just seen the audience numbers for last night's show. Peaked at 6.5m. Not bad for a BBC2 show, on its 21st series.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 17 Mar 2014 10:36
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
The best bedroom....in the world. pic.twitter.com/a0qTsv9mOy
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 17 Mar 2014 09:12
  • The best bedroom....in the world. http://t.co/a0qTsv9mOy
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Big thanks to all the Top Gear off-screen people for a phenomenal job on tonight's show. Have yourselves a black cock on me.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Mar 2014 21:29
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I really hope you enjoy the conclusion of our Burma Christmas Special this evening. There are facts in it.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Mar 2014 19:28
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Mildly surprised the Chelsea Villa ref didn't send me a red text telling me to stop watching
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 15 Mar 2014 19:24
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RT @MarkElliott52: CHEERS! Many congrats Christian you are a HERO @HelpforHeroes Pse Support him TEXT NOCK to 70900 #supportforlife RT htpic.twitter.com/XW3tfVysht
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 15 Mar 2014 15:11
  • RT @MarkElliott52: CHEERS! Many congrats Christian you are a HERO @HelpforHeroes Pse Support him TEXT NOCK to 70900   #supportforlife RT ht…
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
If you saw me in Burma, you'll know I'm a horse expert. Which is why at Cheltenham, I've just had 4 winners out of 5 races. Smug face
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 14 Mar 2014 17:00
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A great place for drinking and giving all my money to Honest John from Liverpool. pic.twitter.com/ANG2QVFxxt
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 14 Mar 2014 12:30
  • A great place for drinking and giving all my money to Honest John from Liverpool. http://t.co/ANG2QVFxxt
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
She didn't actually vomit. She just retched and ran off screaming. "Help, help, call the Police." Something like that.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 13 Mar 2014 20:19
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That's actually the second time I've met Abbey. And both times, she has vomited.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 13 Mar 2014 20:09
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Just bumped into Abbey Clancy. My god, she's pretty.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 13 Mar 2014 20:03
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I have often moaned about the police closing roads for no good reason. But this morning, they shut the A66 to look for a man's penis.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 13 Mar 2014 17:19
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To whoever is flying a helicopter over Kensington this afternoon. Fuck off.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 12 Mar 2014 15:13
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Aviation experts. The correct answer is "I'm afraid I don't have a clue".
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 12 Mar 2014 09:36
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 10 Mar 2014 05:48
  • Bye bye http://t.co/YqccWIo9QX
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
RT @ShaneJacobson: @JeremyClarkson @MrJamesMay @StevePizzati @rianacrehan Thanks for a great Top Gear Festival, safe flights home guys httppic.twitter.com/lh1itx1qPP
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 10 Mar 2014 03:39
  • RT @ShaneJacobson: @JeremyClarkson @MrJamesMay @StevePizzati @rianacrehan Thanks for a great Top Gear Festival, safe flights home guys http…
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
People of Australia. You have dreadful paps but everything else has been fab. I'm off now and can't wait to come back pic.twitter.com/E0M97KYPEV
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 10 Mar 2014 01:40
  • People of Australia. You have dreadful paps but everything else has been fab. I'm off now and can't wait to come back http://t.co/E0M97KYPEV
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
That is one big motherfucking earwig pic.twitter.com/jggyHfJXSO
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 23:33
  • That is one big motherfucking earwig http://t.co/jggyHfJXSO
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Series 23. How about we ditch the cars and do horse tests instead?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 22:58
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Oh my fucking God. Bruno Senna is at our massive party pic.twitter.com/x9Y7DyF2uU
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 11:56
  • Oh my fucking God. Bruno Senna is at our massive party http://t.co/x9Y7DyF2uU
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
A girl has arrived at the Top Gear Australia wrap party pic.twitter.com/M5gP4o1EOQ
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 11:39
  • A girl has arrived at the Top Gear Australia wrap party http://t.co/M5gP4o1EOQ
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Predictably, everyone is now in the pool. pic.twitter.com/90LD94b1yP
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 10:17
  • Predictably, everyone is now in the pool. http://t.co/90LD94b1yP
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
The dance floor is heaving to the sounds of the band pic.twitter.com/W1pYMlF0rd
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 10:07
  • The dance floor is heaving to the sounds of the band http://t.co/W1pYMlF0rd
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Wait. A guest has arrived. pic.twitter.com/C0BUvzWWmB
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 10:03
  • Wait. A guest has arrived. http://t.co/C0BUvzWWmB
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Right. We did our absolute very best with the Burma special. Worked our arses off. And the 2nd half next week is the best bit.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 09:38
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To be even clearer. Part 1 is good. Worth a watch. Part 2 is as good as we've ever been.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 09:33
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To be clear: part one is OK. Part 2 is sensational.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 09:29
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Last night, the sun stoved @MrJamesMay 's head in pic.twitter.com/bVGfMQ68bn
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 03:45
  • Last night, the sun stoved @MrJamesMay 's head in http://t.co/bVGfMQ68bn
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
RT @milkteef: PLEASE RT - Bruno has been missing for almost 24 hours. He was wearing a purple bandana collar. #missingdog #hydepark http://pic.twitter.com/STCoi86ZbH
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 09 Mar 2014 01:49
  • RT @milkteef: PLEASE RT - Bruno has been missing for almost 24 hours. He was wearing a purple bandana collar. #missingdog #hydepark http://…
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
I'm on a bridge pic.twitter.com/kirWvCn3oc
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 06 Mar 2014 22:54
  • I'm on a bridge http://t.co/kirWvCn3oc
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
I saved my special smug face for Mr Slowly's eventual arrival. pic.twitter.com/7JlrnBEzAg
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 06 Mar 2014 01:11
  • I saved my special smug face for Mr Slowly's eventual arrival. http://t.co/7JlrnBEzAg
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
To the victor the spoils. Taxi for @MrJamesMay pic.twitter.com/GjVNZdHW9t
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 05 Mar 2014 21:10
  • To the victor the spoils. Taxi for @MrJamesMay http://t.co/GjVNZdHW9t
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
My fat butler has smashed your beef Hula Hoops. pic.twitter.com/D3OnoefKT1
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 05 Mar 2014 12:19
  • My fat butler has smashed your beef Hula Hoops. http://t.co/D3OnoefKT1
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Can anyone sober tell me where @MrJamesMay 's plane is right now?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 05 Mar 2014 11:59
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Singapore Airlines creaming Emirates right now. Hahaha. @MrJamesMay you're going down.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 05 Mar 2014 11:42
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I am now in Singapore. Don't know whether to have bacon and eggs, or a glass of port. Has May's plane crashed yet?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 05 Mar 2014 11:39
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I'm on SQ321. Bet @MrJamesMay doesn't say/know what he is on.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 04 Mar 2014 22:01
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There will be updates over the next 22 hours. From @MrJamesMay as well. When he works out how to upload a video.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 04 Mar 2014 21:09
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Jeremy & James - Live Twitter race to Sydney http://t.co/QZctGi5ATQ via @YouTube
Updated via Tweet Button at 04 Mar 2014 21:05
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Is the One Show having a competition to see how many regional accents they can feature in 30 minutes?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 04 Mar 2014 19:14
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
And that's it. After a year in production, the Top Gear special is now finished. Part one will be shown on Sunday.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 04 Mar 2014 18:04
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BF63ZSG. National Express coach driver. Are you deranged or just completely incompetent?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 02 Mar 2014 13:53
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Piers Morgan has written about me many times over the years. Well tomorrow in The Sunday Times, I've written about him. He won't like it.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 01 Mar 2014 18:37
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Beside myself with excitement. Off to see Daltrey and Johnson at Shepherds Bush Empire.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Feb 2014 19:03
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I seem to be in Liverpool.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Feb 2014 18:15
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Hmm. Morgan has told us for years that his ratings are sky high. So obv he wasn't sacked for that reason. Why else could it be, I wonder?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Feb 2014 08:50
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
I understand that Nigerian TV is looking for a new chat show host. Anyone got any suggestions?
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Feb 2014 08:46
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
I'm feeling strangely contented this morning. I wonder if something wonderful has happened somewhere.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Feb 2014 08:42
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
8pm Channel 4. A programme celebrating the life of Sir Edwin Lutyens. Looks like it might be a belter.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 23 Feb 2014 19:22
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I've just seen someone driving a Nissan Micra through Marlow
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 23 Feb 2014 13:59
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Right. Leaving the Bridge. Twickenham next.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 22 Feb 2014 14:55
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So. Chelsea. Then Twickenham. Then a 50th birthday. I may not survive.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 22 Feb 2014 11:43
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Great peril in Holland Park today. pic.twitter.com/um3zkq2LOk
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 21 Feb 2014 12:57
  • Great peril in Holland Park today. http://t.co/um3zkq2LOk
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Alarming to think that this was the level of protest in Independence Square when I was in Kiev just a few weeks ago. pic.twitter.com/J4Pyf8UHTJ
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Feb 2014 19:58
  • Alarming to think that this was the level of protest in Independence Square when I was in Kiev just a few weeks ago. http://t.co/J4Pyf8UHTJ
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Annoyingly, I shall be missing the programme about eggs on BBC 4 tonight. As I'm going to a party. Let me know what you thought of it.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Feb 2014 19:42
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Just so you know, apart from a tiny reference to sperm, Top Gear is quite sensible tonight. There are facts in it, and some history.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Feb 2014 19:29
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
Soon, it's sperm time.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Feb 2014 19:20
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
No animals or birds were harmed in the making of tonight's Top Gear. Apart from one.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Feb 2014 11:35
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
People of West London. We shall probably win the Premiership but they properly closed us down this afternoon. Grrrr.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 15 Feb 2014 19:09
Jeremy Clarkson twitter profile image
People of Manchester. Annoying from my point of view. But well done.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 15 Feb 2014 19:06

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