David Schneider On Twitter at Celebrity Tweets

celeb tweet user David Schneider

Followers: 165,999 as of 31 Jul 14 04:20:09

Bio: Actor, writer, comedian, fool.

Website: http://t.co/TDfy0liSpV


David Schneider twitter profile image
OK, that's me signing off for a summer break. Normal service will be resumed soon. I'll miss you, Twitter *waves* pic.twitter.com/ugCxSqGasQ
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Jul 2014 15:37
  • OK, that's me signing off for a summer break. Normal service will be resumed soon. I'll miss you, Twitter *waves* http://t.co/ugCxSqGasQ
David Schneider twitter profile image
Find out your wifi name by taking the name of your broadband provider and adding the number they've allotted to your modem.
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Jul 2014 15:54
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @bagyben: The big question of the commonwealth games pic.twitter.com/uLbWzZRxAd
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Jul 2014 12:57
  • RT @bagyben: The big question of the commonwealth games http://t.co/uLbWzZRxAd
David Schneider twitter profile image
It looks like this season Southampton are going to move from playing a 4-2-3-1 formation to a more unorthodox 1-0-0-1.
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Jul 2014 10:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @mwachtel: Definitive proof that you should have a 12 year-old proofread everything. pic.twitter.com/kObhAdOl4m
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Jul 2014 16:31
  • RT @mwachtel: Definitive proof that you should have a 12 year-old proofread everything. http://t.co/kObhAdOl4m
David Schneider twitter profile image
Forgive my leftie kneejerkery for inaccuracy on last pic. Should have said the Tories "brought in higher tuition fees". Dammit! *sobs*
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Jul 2014 16:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
How the Tories hope we'll behave on election day pic.twitter.com/Wg1Rsp3Hw3
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Jul 2014 15:00
  • How the Tories hope we'll behave on election day http://t.co/Wg1Rsp3Hw3
David Schneider twitter profile image
Here's a thing I wrote about Ed Miliband and uglyism before Baconbuttygate http://t.co/3Xrz8uqY7l
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Jul 2014 14:09
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Ross_Owen: Looks like soft drink manufacturers have been forced to take obesity seriously pic.twitter.com/XY6JMjywWT
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Jul 2014 13:45
  • RT @Ross_Owen: Looks like soft drink manufacturers have been forced to take obesity seriously http://t.co/XY6JMjywWT
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Look into my eyes, not around my eyes, the recession is over, look at the growth stats, not at your wages, the recession is over" - Osborne
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Jul 2014 07:41
David Schneider twitter profile image
Triathlon latest. The Brownlee brothers way ahead. Alistair's favourite but Jonny might just nick it once the union votes are counted.
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Jul 2014 15:23
David Schneider twitter profile image
At last, an honest Wonga ad (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/aajrq60Teg
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Jul 2014 12:58
David Schneider twitter profile image
Religious nutters. Want to persuade me we're living through the End Times? With everything happening in the world, this is your best chance.
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Jul 2014 11:27
David Schneider twitter profile image
Heading to Scotland and #Glasgow2014? Here are answers to some FAQs (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/1idlYj9D4G http://t.co/RnVGhXnRM5
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Jul 2014 08:45
David Schneider twitter profile image
Well done, Glasgow and Scotland! Cameron's confirmed you can have your independence and the pound as long as we can have those dogs.
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 22:41
David Schneider twitter profile image
Anyone checked where Trevor Nelson is? #bbcglasgow2014
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 19:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
Off to live-tweet #Glasgow2014 opening ceremony with funnyman @davidlevin123 on @VMLoves. Join us. *packs bag, sets off across Twitter*
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 17:35
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @hackneymarshman: Sign warns cyclists about itself pic.twitter.com/Uf9s7eXzdn
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 23 Jul 2014 16:02
  • RT @hackneymarshman: Sign warns cyclists about itself http://t.co/Uf9s7eXzdn
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron: "We will act swiftly and decisively to halt all exports of arms to Russia. From France."
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 15:14
David Schneider twitter profile image
Russia, Qatar. FIFA won't rest till they can award the 2026 World Cup to Mordor.
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 12:18
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @jtlovell1979: The Poundland catalogue helpfully prices everything individually. pic.twitter.com/a0S1rs8eXQ
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 23 Jul 2014 11:20
  • RT @jtlovell1979: The Poundland catalogue helpfully prices everything individually. http://t.co/a0S1rs8eXQ
David Schneider twitter profile image
David Ward's just the latest to go on the Escalating Violence Merry-Go-Round. The only hope is for everyone to get off the ride #Gaza
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 10:42
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @lukelewis: The Queen tests positive for morphine, according to BBC news ticker pic.twitter.com/REv9cwnZhn
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 08:04
  • RT @lukelewis: The Queen tests positive for morphine, according to BBC news ticker http://t.co/REv9cwnZhn
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron predicts disaster and bankruptcy by Day 2 for Team Scotland and no, they can't still use the pound #BetterTogether #Glasgow2014
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Jul 2014 07:38
David Schneider twitter profile image
In the Wild West it was totally acceptable to be a cowboy builder. I thank you.
Updated via TweetDeck at 22 Jul 2014 16:43
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Helena_LB: Do you ever wonder if you chose the right line at the store? http://t.co/XVnDdh6z0A
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 22 Jul 2014 10:21
David Schneider twitter profile image
I'm loving the birthday pics of Kate and Will and their lovely little boy George (ta @davidlberesford) pic.twitter.com/vnZ8RiIRE6
Updated via TweetDeck at 22 Jul 2014 08:19
  • I'm loving the birthday pics of Kate and Will and their lovely little boy George
(ta @davidlberesford) http://t.co/vnZ8RiIRE6
David Schneider twitter profile image
It's Prince George's birthday tomorrow and William and Kate are still up trying to wrap 3 new servants and most of Cornwall.
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 22:35
David Schneider twitter profile image
Coming soon: the film of Miliband's Obama visit (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/IUPqf35htM pic.twitter.com/OF6PyoAxUh
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 22:14
  • Coming soon: the film of Miliband's Obama visit
(done for @HuffPostUKCom)
http://t.co/IUPqf35htM 
http://t.co/OF6PyoAxUh
David Schneider twitter profile image
Off to see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, tho given the mess we humans are making of the world right now I say we hand it over right away.
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 17:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @JohnDonoghue64: Err... I think Miss might prefer a bottle of wine or maybe a box of Maltesers... #justsaying pic.twitter.com/Lvyg3ATsJY
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 21 Jul 2014 16:16
  • RT @JohnDonoghue64: Err... I think Miss might prefer a bottle of wine or maybe a box of Maltesers... #justsaying http://t.co/Lvyg3ATsJY
David Schneider twitter profile image
Gerrard announces his retirement from international football with effect from just before the World Cup.
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 14:07
David Schneider twitter profile image
To celebrate 20 years since Tony Blair became Labour leader, here's his handy guide to military intervention pic.twitter.com/UYhSmAPqQi
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 13:59
  • To celebrate 20 years since Tony Blair became Labour leader, here's his handy guide to military intervention http://t.co/UYhSmAPqQi
David Schneider twitter profile image
Here, just for you, is a comedy pilot with @joshwiddicombe and @TheRealJackDee that I directed. Hope you like http://t.co/KONyD4fmC8
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 10:30
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Vladimir, the Middle East is beating us in our game of Atrocity Poker" "Withhold the bodies of the victims from the families?" "Brilliant!"
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Jul 2014 08:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @BenRazaCMK: @davidschneider it's all kicking off in Northampton pic.twitter.com/xm91jXkXXv
Updated via TweetDeck at 20 Jul 2014 18:28
  • RT @BenRazaCMK: @davidschneider it's all kicking off in Northampton http://t.co/xm91jXkXXv
David Schneider twitter profile image
I feel for Prince William and Kate getting ready for Prince George's birthday. 500 square miles of Cornwall is so difficult to wrap.
Updated via TweetDeck at 20 Jul 2014 10:41
David Schneider twitter profile image
Re women bishops. It's great to see the Church being finally dragged into the 20th Century #bbcsml
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 20 Jul 2014 09:25
David Schneider twitter profile image
I like to think that every time lightning strikes, another Frankenstein's monster is born.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Jul 2014 07:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 19 Jul 2014 07:20
  • RT @_youhadonejob: When you see it. http://t.co/IBjq1TLF20
David Schneider twitter profile image
Dammit. It's so hot I can't even count RT @RickElliott2: No mathematician either?
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Jul 2014 17:01
David Schneider twitter profile image
I'm no biologist but I think the Piccadilly line has fused me and my fellow passengers into a single 140-headed-280-limbed beast.
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Jul 2014 16:58
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @tdawks: Asking for trouble. pic.twitter.com/2Ch14tMvHT
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Jul 2014 16:11
  • RT @tdawks: Asking for trouble. http://t.co/2Ch14tMvHT
David Schneider twitter profile image
#FF Choose a category Satire @Unnamedinsider Politics @PrimlyStable Football @BeardedGenius Pubs @The_Dolphin_Pub Lucky dip @Pandamoanimum
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Jul 2014 15:32
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @AlsBoy: You may see a better photo of a wedding photo being taken today but I doubt it pic.twitter.com/5vrWYEpOd8
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Jul 2014 11:31
  • RT @AlsBoy: You may see a better photo of a wedding photo being taken today but I doubt it http://t.co/5vrWYEpOd8
David Schneider twitter profile image
It's good that when it comes to the European Human Rights Convention we'll probably be stood hand-in-hand with Putin #bettertogether
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Jul 2014 09:48
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @TheTweetOfGod: I have lost control of the situation.
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 18 Jul 2014 08:03
David Schneider twitter profile image
Still my favourite storm picture pic.twitter.com/yymqDICElt
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Jul 2014 07:24
  • Still my favourite storm picture http://t.co/yymqDICElt
David Schneider twitter profile image
Can we try turning the world off and back on again? #Gaza #Ukraine #etc
Updated via TweetDeck at 17 Jul 2014 16:08
David Schneider twitter profile image
Seriously, Tony Blair. You had ONE job*! #MiddleEast *apart from the lucrative consultancies and after-dinner speeches etc etc
Updated via TweetDeck at 17 Jul 2014 14:15
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Pandamoanimum: Joaquin Phoenix's forehead. Once seen, cannot be unseen. https://t.co/gJ3XVxoNfK
Updated via TweetDeck at 17 Jul 2014 13:09
David Schneider twitter profile image
Yes, England drop right down but I still feel the new FIFA rankings can't be trusted pic.twitter.com/B97SUxirh4
Updated via TweetDeck at 17 Jul 2014 11:55
  • Yes, England drop right down but I still feel the new FIFA rankings can't be trusted http://t.co/B97SUxirh4
David Schneider twitter profile image
A handy guide to the 3 main parties' strategy for this parliament pic.twitter.com/kddtyHXLTm
Updated via TweetDeck at 17 Jul 2014 10:34
  • A handy guide to the 3 main parties' strategy for this parliament http://t.co/kddtyHXLTm
David Schneider twitter profile image
Nothing so far #uksnow
Updated via TweetDeck at 17 Jul 2014 07:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
Nick Clegg pledges to get rid of bedroom tax. And that's a pledge. A pledge. So it will happen #pledge
Updated via TweetDeck at 16 Jul 2014 21:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
Dammit. Posted that vine from Vine and it's not done the @name. I meant to say hat-tip to @RyanWMcHenry not Ryan McHenry, whoever he is.
Updated via TweetDeck at 16 Jul 2014 21:19
David Schneider twitter profile image
Daily Mail tackles sexism charge with new Downing St catwalk spread (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/a6HfiWdOnf http://t.co/5thYMtlZn7
Updated via TweetDeck at 16 Jul 2014 15:44
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Pandamoanimum: 'Weird Al' Yankovic parodies 'Blurred Lines'. 'Word Crimes' Absolutely bloody brilliant. https://t.co/4Ie7sKh2mF
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Jul 2014 14:10
David Schneider twitter profile image
Struggling with state-owned East Coast trains' wifi just now which I'm seeing as a huge test of my commitment to railway renationalisation.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 16 Jul 2014 12:28
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @FootballJester: The cruelest cake in history!! pic.twitter.com/1O6wy9Mped
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 15 Jul 2014 18:50
  • RT @FootballJester: The cruelest cake in history!! http://t.co/1O6wy9Mped
David Schneider twitter profile image
The only bad thing about Gove going is I can no longer use this joke as my pinned tweet https://t.co/qlOyVYvO2u *sulks*
Updated via TweetDeck at 15 Jul 2014 16:42
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cabinet reshuffle: the very latest update as used by Cameron pic.twitter.com/MPzJv3vsZg
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 15 Jul 2014 14:33
  • Cabinet reshuffle: the very latest update as used by Cameron http://t.co/MPzJv3vsZg
David Schneider twitter profile image
Iain Duncan Smith not going to Defence due to concerns he'd assess badly injured soldiers as fit to fight #reshuffle
Updated via TweetDeck at 15 Jul 2014 08:54
David Schneider twitter profile image
Typo or part of government attempt to make cabinet more appealing? pic.twitter.com/G2MFs9mOVr
Updated via TweetDeck at 15 Jul 2014 08:30
  • Typo or part of government attempt to make cabinet more appealing? http://t.co/G2MFs9mOVr
David Schneider twitter profile image
Gove no longer Minister for Education. Now likely to set up his own free government with its own syllabus #reshuffle
Updated via TweetDeck at 15 Jul 2014 08:24
David Schneider twitter profile image
It's a great day for young girls who now know they can grow up to be bishops or set-dressing to gain votes in a Tory cabinet #reshuffle
Updated via TweetDeck at 15 Jul 2014 07:42
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @DanRebellato: Cameron: “I am proud today to reaffirm my commitment to equality with half a dozen new women in my cabinet.” http://t.co/pic.twitter.com/GcJYePvLo5
Updated via TweetDeck at 15 Jul 2014 07:20
  • RT @DanRebellato: Cameron: “I am proud today to reaffirm my commitment to equality with half a dozen new women in my cabinet.” http://t.co/…
David Schneider twitter profile image
Reshuffle latest: David Luiz to Home Office for £50m.
Updated via TweetDeck at 14 Jul 2014 20:15
David Schneider twitter profile image
Well done, the Synod. We knew you had it in you, as the actor said to the (woman) bishop.
Updated via TweetDeck at 14 Jul 2014 15:45
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cabinet reshuffle: here's the update Cameron's using pic.twitter.com/vSGGShxOjc
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 14 Jul 2014 12:33
  • Cabinet reshuffle: here's the update Cameron's using http://t.co/vSGGShxOjc
David Schneider twitter profile image
Very much enjoyed this countdown of the World Cup's funniest moments by @michaelhogan, especially number 8 http://t.co/3UJEBZE30Q
Updated via TweetDeck at 14 Jul 2014 11:48
David Schneider twitter profile image
Thought I'd find it hard to respond to events in Gaza in 140 characters but I can actually do it in 14: ceasefire FFS!
Updated via TweetDeck at 14 Jul 2014 09:48
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron to announce reshuffle as soon as his advisers can persuade him he can't have Andy Coulson back.
Updated via TweetDeck at 14 Jul 2014 09:20
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @_youhadonejob: This anti-gambling poster back fired a bit. pic.twitter.com/XrlZsigXxH
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 14 Jul 2014 07:58
  • RT @_youhadonejob: This anti-gambling poster back fired a bit. http://t.co/XrlZsigXxH
David Schneider twitter profile image
Neuer can use that hand to masturbate and imagine it's someone else #WorldCup
Updated via TweetDeck at 13 Jul 2014 21:56
David Schneider twitter profile image
Blatter will be so relieved he can now put the political difficulties of #Brazil2014 behind him and look forward to Russia and Qatar.
Updated via TweetDeck at 13 Jul 2014 21:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
Might just watch Christ the Redeemer for 20 minutes then come back for penalties #WorldCupFinal
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 13 Jul 2014 21:07
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @osvaldooardiles: Mark lawrenson get in my nerves
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 13 Jul 2014 20:00
David Schneider twitter profile image
Remember, press the red button to hear Adrian Chiles crying #WorldCupFinal
Updated via TweetDeck at 13 Jul 2014 19:38
David Schneider twitter profile image
Higuain totally Jonathan Pearced it #WorldCupFinal
Updated via TweetDeck at 13 Jul 2014 19:31
David Schneider twitter profile image
Kramer's worst enemy in this unexpected start could be himself. It's Kramer vs Kramer #WorldCupFinal
Updated via TweetDeck at 13 Jul 2014 18:59
David Schneider twitter profile image
I like Germany's Pope Benedict. And I like Argentina's Pope Francis. But which is best? There's only one way to find out: FIIIIINAL!!
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 13 Jul 2014 15:07
David Schneider twitter profile image
van Gaal brings Vorm on because he thinks it'll go to penalties #BRAvsNED
Updated via TweetDeck at 12 Jul 2014 21:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
Brazil strengthen their defence by bringing on Crying Boy In Crowd and Sad Old Man With Replica Trophy from the Germany game #BRAvsNED
Updated via TweetDeck at 12 Jul 2014 21:05
David Schneider twitter profile image
Ironically, the odds on Brazil winning this now are 7-1.
Updated via TweetDeck at 12 Jul 2014 20:17
David Schneider twitter profile image
Liverpool confident they won't miss Suarez as they confirm signing of Paulinho, Eriksen, Soldado, Chadli, Capoue, Chiriches and Lamela.
Updated via TweetDeck at 12 Jul 2014 08:44
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" "Here" "Actually, wherefore means why" "OK smart-arse! Typical Capulet" "Bloody Montague" *goes*
Updated via TweetDeck at 11 Jul 2014 16:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Pandamoanimum: For the sake of humanity I do hope Vincent Smith is using sarcasm as a form of humour here. pic.twitter.com/ndmG0eDqbn
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 11 Jul 2014 12:15
  • RT @Pandamoanimum: For the sake of humanity I do hope Vincent Smith is using sarcasm as a form of humour here. http://t.co/ndmG0eDqbn
David Schneider twitter profile image
Suarez has cost Barcelona an arm and a leg. In feed. And yes I did do another #Suarezbitepun.
Updated via TweetDeck at 11 Jul 2014 11:37
David Schneider twitter profile image
So, the government, let's see what you could have bought with the £1bn you wrote off in the Royal Mail sale pic.twitter.com/dIoH2Ngnpp
Updated via TweetDeck at 11 Jul 2014 10:14
  • So, the government, let's see what you could have bought with the £1bn you wrote off in the Royal Mail sale http://t.co/dIoH2Ngnpp
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @guardian_SM: Unacceptable reactions to hearing your date is a vegetarian: 1) Sighing 2) Asking: “But what about bacon?” 3) Putting your…
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 11 Jul 2014 09:48
David Schneider twitter profile image
Had a massive work-on but now: sleep methinks*! *science fact. When overworked the brain may tend to talk Real Ale-speak.
Updated via TweetDeck at 11 Jul 2014 00:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron's now saying unions failing to win a majority for industrial action can always form a coalition strike. That's what he'd do.
Updated via TweetDeck at 10 Jul 2014 17:28
David Schneider twitter profile image
INFOGRAPHIC. Has this been the best World Cup ever? pic.twitter.com/ffKpBKCxxE
Updated via TweetDeck at 10 Jul 2014 13:25
  • INFOGRAPHIC. Has this been the best World Cup ever? http://t.co/ffKpBKCxxE
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @EndhooS: Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I …
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 10 Jul 2014 12:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
Unions. Worried your strike ballots are "undemocratic"? Simply promise "no top-down reorganisation" then you can do whatever you like #NHS
Updated via TweetDeck at 10 Jul 2014 10:14
David Schneider twitter profile image
Bloody unions. Coming over here, fighting for the vulnerable, looking after the low paid... #j10
Updated via TweetDeck at 10 Jul 2014 07:30
David Schneider twitter profile image
Forgive the following repeat but, you know, it's worth saying again...
Updated via TweetDeck at 10 Jul 2014 07:29
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Pundamentalism: When abroad, James Bond is known as +44 07.
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 09 Jul 2014 14:24

Celebrites On Twitter

Celeb Tweets - The number 1 site for twitter updates from your favourite celebs. We follow a range of famous people and collect all of their tweets in real time in one place. We do the following so you don't have to!

For a full list of the 767 celebrities we follow on twitter click here.

SPOTLIGHT

Epic President Barack Obama Prank In Times Square

Epic President Barack Obama Prank In Times Square

Nothing to see here, just President Barack Obama going for a casual stroll across Times Square with his entourage in tow. Well, not the actual president but a fake one—a look-alike called Bronx Obama—but that doesn’t stop the crowds from coming out en-masse. Thank God no one tried to assassinate him though.

TWEETS TODAY

332

FRIENDS

Celebrity Buzzer
Vogue
Fashion Tweets
Net-a-Porter
Love
Teen Vogue
Model Gossip
Forever 21
Beauty & The Dirt

CELEBS FOLLOWED

767

FACEBOOK

MOST ACTIVE CELEBS

TOTAL TWEETS

578,727