David Schneider On Twitter at Celebrity Tweets

celeb tweet user David Schneider

Followers: 165,999 as of 20 Apr 14 11:46:31

Bio: Actor, writer, comedian, fool.

Website: http://t.co/TDfy0liSpV


David Schneider twitter profile image
Can someone persuade Cameron that most UKIP voters say their religion is Jedi so we can hear him talk endlessly about his Jedi faith?
Updated via web at 20 Apr 2014 09:14
David Schneider twitter profile image
Behold! I have risen... from my bed and my Twitterbreak. Good to see you all again *hugs you a little too hard*
Updated via web at 20 Apr 2014 08:30
David Schneider twitter profile image
Normal service will be resumed as soon as I'm back from holiday pic.twitter.com/UqTyt2ZKke
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 08 Apr 2014 13:34
  • Normal service will be resumed as soon as I'm back from holiday http://t.co/UqTyt2ZKke
David Schneider twitter profile image
Meanwhile you could follow @Unnamedinsider, @GeneralBoles @RogerQuimbly for satire; @Pandamoanimum @adamhess1 @cluedont for fun. Loves ya!
Updated via TweetDeck at 08 Apr 2014 12:25
David Schneider twitter profile image
Off on hols and Twitterbreak for a bit. Will rise again (topically enough) around Easter time...
Updated via TweetDeck at 08 Apr 2014 12:23
David Schneider twitter profile image
At last, it's Gogglebox on Gogglebox http://t.co/zkFnn4bNhg (done for @HuffPostUKCom)
Updated via TweetDeck at 08 Apr 2014 11:02
David Schneider twitter profile image
Pro-Russian demonstrators in Donetsk signal their control of parliament building by raising a flag of Nigel Farage.
Updated via TweetDeck at 08 Apr 2014 09:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
The Tories could have avoided Maria Millergate by making it clear that on 2nd homes the bedroom tax is replaced by a £45,000 bedroom bonus.
Updated via TweetDeck at 08 Apr 2014 08:01
David Schneider twitter profile image
Too awful RT @SkyNewsBreak: Sky Sources: Peaches Geldof found dead at her home in Wrotham in Kent aged 25
Updated via TweetDeck at 07 Apr 2014 17:16
David Schneider twitter profile image
Amazingly topical prediction from last night's #GameOfThrones (PS not a spoiler) pic.twitter.com/TB3PYN2i8b
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 07 Apr 2014 14:41
  • Amazingly topical prediction from last night's #GameOfThrones (PS not a spoiler) http://t.co/TB3PYN2i8b
David Schneider twitter profile image
I honestly don't know what's right about Syria but my hunch is always to go with the opposite of what Tony Blair thinks.
Updated via TweetDeck at 07 Apr 2014 12:28
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @KateRobbins: I really would've refused this title if my surname was Garden pic.twitter.com/OnqSyckXhD
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 07 Apr 2014 10:22
  • RT @KateRobbins: I really would've refused this title if my surname was Garden http://t.co/OnqSyckXhD
David Schneider twitter profile image
"TGIM!" - Benjamin Button.
Updated via TweetDeck at 07 Apr 2014 07:54
David Schneider twitter profile image
About to go on @BBCOnTheMoney on @bbc5live. Might just use the facilities first pic.twitter.com/1JdRHZ6bHO
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 06 Apr 2014 18:27
  • About to go on @BBCOnTheMoney on @bbc5live. Might just use the facilities first http://t.co/1JdRHZ6bHO
David Schneider twitter profile image
Why have Arsenal collapsed this season? Questions must be asked about their medical team #EFCvAFC pic.twitter.com/rmBlrygZCg
Updated via web at 06 Apr 2014 14:28
  • Why have Arsenal collapsed this season? Questions must be asked about their medical team #EFCvAFC http://t.co/rmBlrygZCg
David Schneider twitter profile image
Release the fly-past! #EFCvAFC pic.twitter.com/DzZSRS2Yai
Updated via web at 06 Apr 2014 13:57
  • Release the fly-past! #EFCvAFC http://t.co/DzZSRS2Yai
David Schneider twitter profile image
Thanks to all those pointing out that Felix Magath is actually Penfold (and ta @GeneralBoles for pic) pic.twitter.com/8Q9O1i8ZWt
Updated via TweetDeck at 05 Apr 2014 22:30
  • Thanks to all those pointing out that Felix Magath is actually Penfold (and ta @GeneralBoles for pic) http://t.co/8Q9O1i8ZWt
David Schneider twitter profile image
Jermain wins! Yay! He's a dead cert for first black Labour leader. Unless he has a brother who'll pip him on union votes #thevoiceukFINAL
Updated via TweetDeck at 05 Apr 2014 20:02
David Schneider twitter profile image
The hacked Maria Miller tweets were only up a few seconds which is still longer than her apology (pic via @TVRav etc) pic.twitter.com/fMHepOZ1I4
Updated via TweetDeck at 05 Apr 2014 19:47
  • The hacked Maria Miller tweets were only up a few seconds which is still longer than her apology (pic via @TVRav etc) http://t.co/fMHepOZ1I4
David Schneider twitter profile image
It's the artist formerly known as Prince. Andrew #thevoiceukFINAL
Updated via TweetDeck at 05 Apr 2014 18:54
David Schneider twitter profile image
Still my favourite horse race: the Horsemeat Chase from last year's Ascot #grandnational (made for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/fLexuKgNkE
Updated via TweetDeck at 05 Apr 2014 14:03
David Schneider twitter profile image
In honour of the #GrandNational, any cars having a technical malfunction at the Bahrain Grand Prix will be put down.
Updated via web at 05 Apr 2014 09:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
#FF Fans of love and/or beards might want to follow @Gordon_Soulmate
Updated via TweetDeck at 04 Apr 2014 16:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
Brucie's replacement for Strictly Come Dancing. Latest odds pic.twitter.com/felYXws3YV
Updated via web at 04 Apr 2014 15:58
  • Brucie's replacement for Strictly Come Dancing. Latest odds http://t.co/felYXws3YV
David Schneider twitter profile image
Latest #grandnational odds: Massive Horse Carnage 10-1; Animal Cruelty Laughter Spout 7-1; Equine Dignitas Disaster 5-2 fav
Updated via TweetDeck at 04 Apr 2014 13:37
David Schneider twitter profile image
Putin divorce latest. He's now on Tinder: http://t.co/YZCxlwecBS (done for @HuffPostUKCom)
Updated via TweetDeck at 04 Apr 2014 11:28
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @HuffPostUKCom: £90 for an England shirt? That's nothing. Check out their pants: http://t.co/ehgAwUB4qh http://t.co/p6Yjatgo4M
Updated via web at 04 Apr 2014 09:02
David Schneider twitter profile image
Good to know the smog is caused by Saharan dust not cars, pollution etc. In other news, the banking crisis was caused by Saharan banks.
Updated via TweetDeck at 04 Apr 2014 07:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
Charge people £10 every time they try to sell off a bit of the NHS. Problem sorted #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 03 Apr 2014 22:16
David Schneider twitter profile image
Contractually, Nigel Farage has to be talked about for at least 10 minutes if he's not on the panel that week #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 03 Apr 2014 21:59
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cable: "The government got independent financial advice on Royal Mail from management consultants, Delboy Trotter Ltd" #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 03 Apr 2014 21:45
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @TheMichaelMoran: If you MUST do it, do it with care. pic.twitter.com/vCfy8aW5NZ
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 03 Apr 2014 19:55
  • RT @TheMichaelMoran: If you MUST do it, do it with care. http://t.co/vCfy8aW5NZ
David Schneider twitter profile image
In case you've not seen it: the real reason behind Putin's divorce pic.twitter.com/TyjlmbWllb
Updated via web at 03 Apr 2014 18:13
  • In case you've not seen it: the real reason behind Putin's divorce http://t.co/TyjlmbWllb
David Schneider twitter profile image
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 03 Apr 2014 11:10
  • RT @TimeOutLondon: Perfect. RT @MarkMooney19 Love this: http://t.co/Y7H7Ie30Q9
David Schneider twitter profile image
Given that the smog's meant to come from the Sahara it seems right that the government's only response is to put its head in the sand.
Updated via web at 03 Apr 2014 09:08
David Schneider twitter profile image
Here's a thing I wrote for @guardian about rebranding Ed Miliband (my bit's at the bottom) http://t.co/pHgT2RCqcD
Updated via TweetDeck at 03 Apr 2014 08:05
David Schneider twitter profile image
Dunce of Downing Street: the movie http://t.co/68ji6Eq8Zu (done for @HuffPostUKCom)
Updated via TweetDeck at 02 Apr 2014 15:29
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @GeneralBoles: Things David Cameron doesn't know the price of... pic.twitter.com/XAHoazWClD
Updated via web at 02 Apr 2014 11:17
  • RT @GeneralBoles: Things David Cameron doesn't know the price of... http://t.co/XAHoazWClD
David Schneider twitter profile image
House price rises in London now close to the magic 88% which allows them to travel through time.
Updated via TweetDeck at 02 Apr 2014 11:03
David Schneider twitter profile image
A plane just flew over Old Trafford saying "Guardiola Out" #MUFCBAYERN
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 20:37
David Schneider twitter profile image
Having seen their bench I predict a Man Utd win tonight: Lindegaard, Hernandez, Nani, Young, Fletcher, Sheringham, Solskjaer #MUFCBAYERN
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 18:41
David Schneider twitter profile image
Clegg v Farage: the rap battle http://t.co/AqfZgmrZvu (with @Unnamedinsider for @HuffPostUKCom)
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 13:53
David Schneider twitter profile image
Just been slagging off lame April Fool mashups before realising that's what I do on here all year. *goes off to have long hard look at self*
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 13:01
David Schneider twitter profile image
So the Royal Mail sale cost billions but at least the Sorry You Were Out cards were honest http://t.co/ekkqZkefz1 (done for @HuffPostUKCom)
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 11:35
David Schneider twitter profile image
The inevitable consequence of #equalmarriage, as Lord Tebbit himself predicted pic.twitter.com/RNj1sog1xx
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 09:08
  • The inevitable consequence of #equalmarriage, as Lord Tebbit himself predicted http://t.co/RNj1sog1xx
David Schneider twitter profile image
It's Star Wars Day! Happy April Fools. May the farce be with you.
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 08:06
David Schneider twitter profile image
These April Fools are just too obvious RT @guardian: Royal Mail: undervaluing shares costs taxpayer £750m in one day http://t.co/jsidCiEFGj
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2014 07:08
David Schneider twitter profile image
The board of Tory achievements behind Osborne today was a bit more honest than expected http://t.co/mB2Dlx4UIL (done for @HuffPostUKCom)
Updated via TweetDeck at 31 Mar 2014 16:10
David Schneider twitter profile image
Here's a cheery thing. Pharrell's "Happy" danced to by youtubers. (made for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/5gWHyieJut
Updated via TweetDeck at 31 Mar 2014 15:33
David Schneider twitter profile image
Looking forward to catching the finale of the Walking Dead or, as it's also known, the England cricket team.
Updated via TweetDeck at 31 Mar 2014 13:14
David Schneider twitter profile image
I think the Labour peer who said everyone should pay £10 a month to the NHS accidentally put his clock back 70 years this weekend.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 31 Mar 2014 11:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
Farage demands referendum on whether we should be part of the Russian Federation > MT @theipaper: Farage: Putin is the leader I most admire
Updated via TweetDeck at 31 Mar 2014 08:13
David Schneider twitter profile image
I bet if you read the small print of the budget you'll see that people earning over £300K didn't actually lose an hour over the weekend.
Updated via web at 31 Mar 2014 07:31
David Schneider twitter profile image
Honest teenager's Mother's Day present pic.twitter.com/bhm4Etqq7l
Updated via TweetDeck at 30 Mar 2014 14:03
  • Honest teenager's Mother's Day present http://t.co/bhm4Etqq7l
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Yippee ki yay, mother!" - Bruce Willis visits his mum on #MothersDay
Updated via TweetDeck at 30 Mar 2014 11:27
David Schneider twitter profile image
Forgot to get a gift for my mum but I sure managed to save the day with this pic.twitter.com/8B1EqhNO11
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2014 09:30
  • Forgot to get a gift for my mum but I sure managed to save the day with this http://t.co/8B1EqhNO11
David Schneider twitter profile image
Porn stars. Don't forget to put your cocks forward tonight.
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 22:34
David Schneider twitter profile image
Long-term followers will welcome/abhor the following traditional biannual tweet...
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 22:33
David Schneider twitter profile image
Music fact. Shakira's full name is Shaki Nstevens Ra #thevoiceuk
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 20:40
David Schneider twitter profile image
Oh dear. Hastily arranged fly-past at the Emirates just now (with thanks @GeneralBoles) #AFCvMCFC pic.twitter.com/WS5KaQ5MtF
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 18:32
  • Oh dear. Hastily arranged fly-past at the Emirates just now 
(with thanks @GeneralBoles)
#AFCvMCFC http://t.co/WS5KaQ5MtF
David Schneider twitter profile image
So proud of this country over #equalmarriage. It's like the Olympics all over again. Go TeamLGBT!
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 13:10
David Schneider twitter profile image
Old Trafford fly-past latest. Looks like Moyes has hired his own plane (with thanks @SimonHume) #MUFC pic.twitter.com/Rh6AZgG6Bd
Updated via web at 29 Mar 2014 11:58
  • Old Trafford fly-past latest. Looks like Moyes has hired his own plane
(with thanks @simonhume) #MUFC http://t.co/Rh6AZgG6Bd
David Schneider twitter profile image
Moyes has made sure the plane flying over Old Trafford will be piloted by Tom Cleverley so it should miss by a mile #MUFC
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 11:31
David Schneider twitter profile image
I try not to judge people but if you do a harmony at the end of "Happy Birthday", you leave me no choice.
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 09:57
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @ajpillar1: @davidschneider the start of F1 qualifying in Malaysia has been delayed by rain caused by 15 equal marriages in UK
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2014 08:53
David Schneider twitter profile image
Happy New Era! #EqualMarriage *links arms and sings* "Let auld discrimination be forgot and never brought to mind..."
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 29 Mar 2014 00:02
David Schneider twitter profile image
Something about the government's Chief Medical Officer makes me worry they're not serious about tackling obesity pic.twitter.com/DSU5yEPuRQ
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2014 15:41
  • Something about the government's Chief Medical Officer makes me worry they're not serious about tackling obesity http://t.co/DSU5yEPuRQ
David Schneider twitter profile image
Michael Gove raps https://t.co/JYf7WGIn5K
Updated via Vine - Make a Scene at 28 Mar 2014 13:50
David Schneider twitter profile image
When it comes to buying tickets, remember: a bird in the hand is worth two for Kate Bush.
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2014 12:43
David Schneider twitter profile image
I won't miss ATOS but I'll miss the simplicity of their forms pic.twitter.com/VRcepkxdcX
Updated via web at 28 Mar 2014 10:39
  • I won't miss ATOS but I'll miss the simplicity of their forms http://t.co/VRcepkxdcX
David Schneider twitter profile image
Argh! Posted wrong pic there. Sorry. Trying again...
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2014 10:36
David Schneider twitter profile image
I give you: the people of the internet dancing to Happy (by @AndreaMann, @hurleyp117 and me) http://t.co/XASYBKzcM8
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2014 09:24
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Unnamedinsider: Best Star Wars product ever... pic.twitter.com/27xX07YxzR
Updated via web at 28 Mar 2014 09:00
  • RT @Unnamedinsider: Best Star Wars product ever... http://t.co/27xX07YxzR
David Schneider twitter profile image
Top hits from new Simply Red album: Housing? Dunno Do People Want A Referendum? Who Melted My Face? I've Absolutely Nothing To Say #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 23:10
David Schneider twitter profile image
This is the best cast of sitcom characters I've ever seen #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 22:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
All of Twitter sits and waits for Hucknall to speak #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 22:44
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @RobinFlavell: I might open a shop called Pi. I don't know what it would sell but it would be open 22/7.
Updated via web at 27 Mar 2014 18:03
David Schneider twitter profile image
If Star Trek were true to life they'd have an episode where everyone got stupidly excited about the latest upgrade of the communicator.
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 16:38
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @BigMusicFacts: There are 1.6 Ke$ha's to the Ke£ha.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 27 Mar 2014 13:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
The best thing about this UEFA Nations League is if you finish in the top four you get to play the best teams from other planets.
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 12:45
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @robinparker55: Hyper-local 'citizen journalism' at its finest. pic.twitter.com/s4MLILpUhS RT @lucytobin
Updated via web at 27 Mar 2014 10:58
  • RT @robinparker55: Hyper-local 'citizen journalism' at its finest. http://t.co/s4MLILpUhS RT @lucytobin
David Schneider twitter profile image
ATOS attempt to pull out of government contract but have been passed fit to continue by ATOS.
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 10:13
David Schneider twitter profile image
Well done Ofgem on sending the Big 6 to the competition watchdog and good luck with your next enquiry into whether bears shit in the woods.
Updated via TweetDeck at 27 Mar 2014 09:29
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @someecards: This breathtaking, last-minute rescue of a man from a burning building will give you your adrenaline fix for the day. http:http://t.co/CSSwL1aWLv
Updated via web at 26 Mar 2014 15:14
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Pandamoanimum: Still the best ever opening paragraph on Wikipedia? Yep. pic.twitter.com/DT874b7aKS
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2014 14:30
  • RT @Pandamoanimum: Still the best ever opening paragraph on Wikipedia?
Yep. http://t.co/DT874b7aKS
David Schneider twitter profile image
SSE freezing their energy prices is a triumph for Cameron and his energy minister, Ed Miliband.
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2014 13:39
David Schneider twitter profile image
Good to see two troubled managers trying to turn things round (with thanks @GeneralBoles) pic.twitter.com/aMIwyYjlDm
Updated via web at 26 Mar 2014 12:21
  • Good to see two troubled managers trying to turn things round 
(with thanks @GeneralBoles) http://t.co/aMIwyYjlDm
David Schneider twitter profile image
Surely, given all the amazing stuff he's done, Captain America should at least be a colonel by now.
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2014 11:10
David Schneider twitter profile image
First Gwyneth and Chris Martin, now Manchester United announce their "conscious uncoupling" from success.
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2014 10:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @HuffPostUKCom: The Royal Mail unveils its commemorative privatisation stamps: http://t.co/druNjFxBkp http://t.co/Mw9HXLtV5X
Updated via web at 26 Mar 2014 08:21
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @beaubodor: Cargo worth millions of pound teetering on the brink. Can the coach be saved? #Arsenal cc @davidschneider http://t.co/YgJJrOpic.twitter.com/YgJJrOhsMJ
Updated via web at 25 Mar 2014 21:39
  • RT @beaubodor: Cargo worth millions of pound teetering on the brink. Can the coach be saved? #Arsenal cc @davidschneider http://t.co/YgJJrO…
David Schneider twitter profile image
Kermit should have known not to interfere in the Scottish referendum #indyref pic.twitter.com/ckTevDUBR0
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2014 10:56
  • Kermit should have known not to interfere in the Scottish referendum #indyref http://t.co/ckTevDUBR0
David Schneider twitter profile image
Royal Mail to launch stamps celebrating privatisation including the George Osborne salivating, the filthy rich hedgefunds and the job centre
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2014 08:56
David Schneider twitter profile image
Wenger: "I've had an accident but I'm still a good driver" > At least with some accidents you end up getting points #AFC
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Mar 2014 08:33
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @AndreaMann: BREAKING: FA says it meant to suspend Andre Marriner, it just got the wrong referee.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2014 18:57
David Schneider twitter profile image
No ban for Oxlade-Chamberlain so he's free to play in goal tomorrow #AFC
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Mar 2014 18:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Mar 2014 17:56
David Schneider twitter profile image
.@kpcuk fans. She's got a book! MT @kpcuk |\ \\ | // /| | \\\|/// | | [▒]. | \ [▒] / \[▒]/ http://t.co/5Z9qRFzx5Y
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Mar 2014 17:23
David Schneider twitter profile image
Grayling's right to ban books in prison. They can be used to smuggle in all sorts of things like knowledge, aspiration and self-esteem.
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Mar 2014 16:14

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