David Schneider On Twitter at Celebrity Tweets

celeb tweet user David Schneider

Followers: 190,232 as of 02 Apr 15 08:48:27

Bio: Actor, writer, comedian, fool.

Website: http://t.co/TDfy0liSpV


David Schneider twitter profile image
A reminder of the conditions Cameron insisted on before agreeing to the 7-way debate. pic.twitter.com/TIe2IU4hsG
Updated via TweetDeck at 02 Apr 2015 07:14
  • A reminder of the conditions Cameron insisted on before agreeing to the 7-way debate. http://t.co/TIe2IU4hsG
David Schneider twitter profile image
The question we need to ask the 100 business leaders. (HT @clovemitchell) pic.twitter.com/ZGhYNUGpg1
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 01 Apr 2015 21:14
  • The question we need to ask the 100 business leaders. (HT @clovemitchell) http://t.co/ZGhYNUGpg1
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @rupert_franklin: "West, Kanye, Conservative - 1754 votes" "Mau5, Dead, Labour - 6,257 votes" "Z, Jay, Liberal Democrat... pic.twitter.com/0nW86RkFX9
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 01 Apr 2015 20:41
  • RT @rupert_franklin: "West, Kanye, Conservative - 1754 votes"
"Mau5, Dead, Labour - 6,257 votes"
"Z, Jay, Liberal Democrat... http://t.co/0…
David Schneider twitter profile image
#HolbornFire latest: still no parody account.
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 01 Apr 2015 19:59
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @IamLauraT: 'Paint with Nigel Farage' is basically what the internet was invented for. http://t.co/fOjvIVWjLh
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 01 Apr 2015 15:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
What on earth possessed a group of Tory peers and FTSE 100 directors whose earnings increased by 21% last year to come out for the Tories?
Updated via TweetDeck at 01 Apr 2015 07:01
David Schneider twitter profile image
Google Maps Pac-Man is great! Much better than the Apple Maps one where Pac-Man's lost in a completely different city from the ghosts.
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 31 Mar 2015 19:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
Here's whatsisname who really hasn't got anything to say about the election worth hearing with Joey Essex. pic.twitter.com/1uYdXSuONB
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 31 Mar 2015 11:12
  • Here's whatsisname who really hasn't got anything to say about the election worth hearing with Joey Essex. http://t.co/1uYdXSuONB
David Schneider twitter profile image
Tories promise 2 million new jobs, some of which may even pay enough to live on.
Updated via TweetDeck at 31 Mar 2015 07:31
David Schneider twitter profile image
Bloody wind. Coming over here, stopping us sleeping, blowing us about. #TightenOurBordersToWind #UKIP #CommonSense
Updated via TweetDeck at 31 Mar 2015 06:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @SimonNRicketts: When a single Vine can tell a news story. Rhino loose in Nepal. http://t.co/Y6rnCHXJuy
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2015 22:51
David Schneider twitter profile image
Things that get dissolved: A) Parliament. B) Slugs. A coincidence, surely.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2015 22:09
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Jeffwni: No, you EMPHASIZE the wrong word.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2015 13:05
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron: "Voters face a stark choice: it's me or Miliband for PM" "So you'll debate him then?" "Of course not!"
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2015 12:28
David Schneider twitter profile image
Today's the first day of the election campaign which must be such a relief for politicians who've had to keep quiet about it till now.
Updated via TweetDeck at 30 Mar 2015 08:15
David Schneider twitter profile image
Good to see the Lib Dems trending #WalkingDeadFinale #satire
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 30 Mar 2015 07:28
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron says details of future benefit cuts will be in Tory manifesto which will be published the day after the election.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 30 Mar 2015 07:09
David Schneider twitter profile image
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 29 Mar 2015 21:51
  • RT @Pandamoanimum: Oh, Twitter. http://t.co/qrvX3qOJgG
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @CalumSPlath: why is the Queen canvassing for UKIP in Bromley? pic.twitter.com/sd62baNYys
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2015 18:29
  • RT @CalumSPlath: why is the Queen canvassing for UKIP in Bromley? http://t.co/sd62baNYys
David Schneider twitter profile image
Katie Hopkins: But what if people forget about me? [sees what's trending] KH: Hmm, depression. [slags off depression. Gets noticed. Smiles.]
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2015 13:44
David Schneider twitter profile image
I suspect if everyone with depression was not allowed to work, most institutions, including the Daily Mail, would grind to a halt.
Updated via TweetDeck at 29 Mar 2015 09:57
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @MrsNickyClark: @davidschneider Can I pester for a RT? In light of cuts to carers allowance I reposted a blog. Best Nik xx http://t.co/2wdI6MwPWI
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 29 Mar 2015 08:26
David Schneider twitter profile image
Porn stars. Don't forget to put your cocks forward tonight.
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2015 22:36
David Schneider twitter profile image
Time now for my traditional tweet for this time of year. You can set your clocks (forward) by it...
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2015 22:36
David Schneider twitter profile image
Spoiler alert. It all ends with the NHS, the poor, students, the disabled and the vulnerable shafted #coalition
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2015 21:25
David Schneider twitter profile image
In that wig I simply can't Sia. #thevoiceuk
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2015 20:59
David Schneider twitter profile image
Labour's new campaign poster. (ta @SimonHume) pic.twitter.com/eV7cFCgM3k
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2015 15:52
  • Labour's new campaign poster.
(ta @SimonHume) http://t.co/eV7cFCgM3k
David Schneider twitter profile image
Prince Charles should follow the Queen's example and keep strictly neutral except on Scottish independence #ThinkVeryCarefully #bbcaq
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2015 13:50
David Schneider twitter profile image
Happy birthdays and a big Saturday #FF to funny satire man @Unnamedinsider. This one still makes me laughoutloud https://t.co/4i4MOjB4X2
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2015 11:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
Idea for futuristic drama: A world where you have to marry the 1st person you snogged. Or 1st person you followed on Twitter. (Needs work)
Updated via TweetDeck at 28 Mar 2015 09:30
David Schneider twitter profile image
Tories promise hospitals will open 7 days a week. Though only for 1 hour a day. #NHS
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 28 Mar 2015 08:30
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @clarercgp: Sadly , last week, I referred more patients to the food bank than I did to AE. 'something profoundly wrong with the way we l…
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 28 Mar 2015 07:45
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @newsthump: The @UKLabour party has just unveiled the @KTHopkins billboard advert it will run until the general election pic.twitter.com/wJhvkadoTk
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 27 Mar 2015 07:29
  • RT @newsthump: The @UKLabour party has just unveiled the @KTHopkins billboard advert it will run until the general election http://t.co/wJh…
David Schneider twitter profile image
Labour have just shot up 57% in the polls. https://t.co/a3C7rsR1IE #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 22:18
David Schneider twitter profile image
Is Paxman saying we should stop having children in case we get too full? #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 22:09
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron's tearing his hair out: "the clapping is good but where are the questions about kitchens?!" #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:54
David Schneider twitter profile image
[knock knock] Ed! You're on! Miliband: If you think I'm coming out of this toilet you must be mad! #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:45
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron: "On spending cuts, we can do what we've done in this parliament: hammer the poor and the vulnerable" #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:31
David Schneider twitter profile image
Paxman: David Cameron, thank you. Oh, and here's your arse. [hands Cameron his arse] #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:20
David Schneider twitter profile image
5 more mins of Paxo and a sobbing Cameron will rule out standing for a second term #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:13
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron's about to go full-on Clarkson and deck Paxman #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:05
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron's about to ask if he can debate Miliband instead #BattleForNumber10
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 21:03
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Mole_9: @davidschneider Excellent, but this one from Glasgow wins Twitter today for me: pic.twitter.com/WfnmAYVoth
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 26 Mar 2015 19:24
  • RT @Mole_9: @davidschneider Excellent, but this one from Glasgow wins Twitter today for me: http://t.co/WfnmAYVoth
David Schneider twitter profile image
This exchange made me laugh. Life on the internet in a nutshell. pic.twitter.com/ehgFoFTn4w
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 26 Mar 2015 14:44
  • This exchange made me laugh. Life on the internet in a nutshell. http://t.co/ehgFoFTn4w
David Schneider twitter profile image
Can't wait for tonight's leaders' debate. And the FA Cup final with its new rules of one side only on the pitch for 45 mins then the other.
Updated via TweetDeck at 26 Mar 2015 09:09
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @RiffRaff41: The Teletubbies are fucking terrifying in black and white. pic.twitter.com/1b4BN0U838
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 26 Mar 2015 07:32
  • RT @RiffRaff41: The Teletubbies are fucking terrifying in black and white. http://t.co/1b4BN0U838
David Schneider twitter profile image
At #TwitterStories. Fleur East is here & some men with no shirts. There's a lack of dad-dancing. May have to rectify. pic.twitter.com/BtZ3nS6mtt
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2015 19:09
  • At #TwitterStories. Fleur East is here & some men with no shirts. There's a lack of dad-dancing. May have to rectify. http://t.co/BtZ3nS6mtt
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @haveigotnews: One Direction fans unhappy with Zayn Malik's tour stand in. pic.twitter.com/Le2OyewCcN
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2015 16:44
  • RT @haveigotnews: One Direction fans unhappy with Zayn Malik's tour stand in. http://t.co/Le2OyewCcN
David Schneider twitter profile image
0.8 Direction #ZaynQuits
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2015 16:38
David Schneider twitter profile image
Complete fail there to pixelate the names. I'll try again...
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2015 15:49
David Schneider twitter profile image
I love this. Life on the internet summed up in one exchange. pic.twitter.com/28KtL0fKn1
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 25 Mar 2015 15:46
  • I love this. Life on the internet summed up in one exchange. http://t.co/28KtL0fKn1
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron pledges "no top-down re-organisation of VAT (no ifs, no buts)." So we can relax about that now. #PMQs
Updated via TweetDeck at 25 Mar 2015 12:47
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @HuffPostUKCom: Loving Facebook's new options for hiding News Feed posts you don't want to see. http://t.co/hns9lJzwqq pic.twitter.com/hZJB9Xp206
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 24 Mar 2015 13:55
  • RT @HuffPostUKCom: Loving Facebook's new options for hiding News Feed posts you don't want to see. http://t.co/hns9lJzwqq http://t.co/hZJB9…
David Schneider twitter profile image
Revealed. The conversation in Downing Street about Cameron's third term. #ThirdTermEconomicPlan. pic.twitter.com/6Wbd30b7jI
Updated via TweetDeck at 24 Mar 2015 09:06
  • Revealed. The conversation in Downing Street about Cameron's third term. #ThirdTermEconomicPlan. http://t.co/6Wbd30b7jI
David Schneider twitter profile image
History shows we should be suspicious of Cameron's pre-election pledges about top-down reorganisations. #ThirdTermEconomicPlan.
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 24 Mar 2015 08:31
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Jason_Spacey: David Cameron rules out serving a 3rd term as prime minister. He also ruled out inventing time travel, winning X Factor a…
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 23 Mar 2015 23:06
David Schneider twitter profile image
Now I know what "Bae" means, I won't rest till I've used it in a conversation. Though I think there may be an age limit on using it, no?
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Mar 2015 20:35
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron: "I won't stand for a third term. Or fairness or honesty or democratic debate. I won't stand for any of that either."
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 23 Mar 2015 19:05
David Schneider twitter profile image
Richard III wasn't all bad. Yes, he unleashed civil war but at least he drew the line at asking the EDL to pretend they were doing a march.
Updated via TweetDeck at 23 Mar 2015 08:33
David Schneider twitter profile image
I'm slightly late to @MedievalReacts but tis funny https://t.co/8T3Q28h3dy
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 22 Mar 2015 22:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
Just to remind you: Richard III is not actually getting buried today as the DWP need to first assess whether he's fit for work.
Updated via TweetDeck at 22 Mar 2015 18:06
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Best writer we've ever had. Such twisted plots!" - Producer confirms next season of House of Cards to be written by Afzal Amin.
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 22 Mar 2015 16:59
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @FutballTweets: Steven Gerrard’s heat map! pic.twitter.com/8iYeSl875U
Updated via TweetDeck at 22 Mar 2015 14:50
  • RT @FutballTweets: Steven Gerrard’s heat map! http://t.co/8iYeSl875U
David Schneider twitter profile image
In his spare time, Steven Gerrard enjoys walking into revolving doors and back out again. #LFCvsMUFC
Updated via TweetDeck at 22 Mar 2015 14:37
David Schneider twitter profile image
The Tories have clearly decided to counter the UKIP threat by coming up with even dodgier candidates #AfzalAmin
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 21 Mar 2015 23:24
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron: "The electorate face a clear choice between me and Ed Miliband and it's vital they don't see this choice debated." #tvdebates
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Mar 2015 15:53
David Schneider twitter profile image
Forgive following repost but how did Cameron2015 get his own way re #tvdebates? Cameron2010 would've savaged him as chicken and undemocratic
Updated via TweetDeck at 21 Mar 2015 15:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
UKIP candidate resigns over culture of bullying and racism. He could no longer stand working on Top Gear.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Mar 2015 22:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @haveigotnews: Daily Mail mistakes partial eclipse as 'further evidence of the Islamification of Britain'. pic.twitter.com/nzuBQb8mIP
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Mar 2015 22:32
  • RT @haveigotnews: Daily Mail mistakes partial eclipse as 'further evidence of the Islamification of Britain'. http://t.co/nzuBQb8mIP
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @RobinFlavell: [as eclipse ends] Sun: So you'll call me, yeah? Moon [putting on trousers]: Yeah...
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Mar 2015 10:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
Still nothing… #eclipse2015LiveTweet (2/99)
Updated via TweetDeck at 20 Mar 2015 09:29
David Schneider twitter profile image
Nothing yet… #eclipse2015LiveTweet (1/99)
Updated via TweetDeck at 20 Mar 2015 09:24
David Schneider twitter profile image
Personally, I won't believe #eclipse2015 has happened until it has its own parody account on Twitter.
Updated via Twitter for iPad at 20 Mar 2015 09:18
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Much of the UK will be plunged into darkness, with darkest conditions in Scotland and the North" - IFS re a Tory election win #eclipse2015
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 20 Mar 2015 08:22
David Schneider twitter profile image
Remember not to look at the sun, everyone. Advice that applies today to the eclipse and every day to the newspaper. I thank you #hereallweek
Updated via TweetDeck at 20 Mar 2015 07:58
David Schneider twitter profile image
Loving the government's new Help Ten Thousand People To Try To Buy The Same Home scheme. #bbcqt
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Mar 2015 23:30
David Schneider twitter profile image
Why don't they just be honest and call themselves the Don't Want To Pay Any Taxpayers' Alliance. #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 19 Mar 2015 23:12
David Schneider twitter profile image
Anyone know how often the Queen uses her bus pass? #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 19 Mar 2015 23:04
David Schneider twitter profile image
Tories: "If you don't feel better off, just check the statistics more regularly, fools! Just look at the stats!" #bbcqt
Updated via TweetDeck at 19 Mar 2015 22:48
David Schneider twitter profile image
In case you've not seen it yet: Torysupermarket. com WARNING: once seen, can't be unseen. (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/SNeaPpQNnT
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 19 Mar 2015 17:55
David Schneider twitter profile image
In case you've not seen it: http://t.co/punWrxGFxU. WARNING: once seen, can't be unseen. (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/SNeaPpQNnT
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 19 Mar 2015 17:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
Long-standing followers. Brace yourselves for the return of a much loved/abhorred joke template...
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Mar 2015 09:46
David Schneider twitter profile image
You know your life has narrowed when you feel a bit rebellious and edgy adding a few bran flakes to your morning muesli.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Mar 2015 09:26
David Schneider twitter profile image
Osborne calls #Budget2015 the "sunshine budget" and claims the "sun's coming out across the UK". In other news, tomorrow is a solar eclipse.
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 19 Mar 2015 08:47
David Schneider twitter profile image
RT @Unnamedinsider: George Osborne's Conga felt a little half-hearted... #Budget2015 pic.twitter.com/ybRN1V5P0Q
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2015 15:38
  • RT @Unnamedinsider: George Osborne's Conga felt a little half-hearted... #Budget2015 http://t.co/ybRN1V5P0Q
David Schneider twitter profile image
The great thing about all these tax cuts is there’s no downside for the NHS, schools, social care, the police, legal aid etc etc #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 13:40
David Schneider twitter profile image
Great budget, George Osborne. Loving the shift from #LongTermEconomicPolicy to #ShortTermEconomicBribe. #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 13:34
David Schneider twitter profile image
I hav to say my Election Bribe Drinkjng game is leaving me a bit worse for wear 🍻🍺#bduget20152015 *hic*
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2015 13:26
David Schneider twitter profile image
Just to remind you of the government rules: 2 kitchens = bad 2 moats = acceptable. #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 13:20
David Schneider twitter profile image
Osborne: "Along with the Northern Powerhouses, we will be setting up a whole host of Marginal Seat Powerhouses" #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 13:18
David Schneider twitter profile image
#Budget2015 is so about neutralising Miliband. Brace yourself for the Spare Kitchen Subsidy and the removal of VAT on bacon sandwiches.
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 13:11
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Bankers used to boast they paid less tax than their cleaners. We've now made sure they pay almost no tax at all" #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 13:05
David Schneider twitter profile image
"I accumulated more debt in 5 years than Labour in 13 but by flogging our assets on eBay I'll make it look like debt is falling" #Budget2105
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 12:59
David Schneider twitter profile image
Osborne: "The last Osborne in 2008 backed a bail-out of the banks. This Osborne is taking credit for getting the money back" #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 12:52
David Schneider twitter profile image
Osborne: "Projections say that living standards will be back to the level they were when we came to office. In 1878" #Budget2015
Updated via Twitter Web Client at 18 Mar 2015 12:36
David Schneider twitter profile image
In case you missed it: 8 things Osborne won't mention #Budget2015. (done for @HuffPostUKCom) http://t.co/DACUkICEco pic.twitter.com/xAvYzPz6vo
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2015 12:17
  • In case you missed it: 8 things Osborne won't mention #Budget2015.
(done for @huffpostukcom) 
http://t.co/DACUkICEco http://t.co/xAvYzPz6vo
David Schneider twitter profile image
That Miliband! With his 2 kitchens he spent £30000 of public money on because he wanted to upgrade them! Oh no, sorry. That's Cameron. #pmqs
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2015 12:08
David Schneider twitter profile image
Cameron reveals new pound coin design. pic.twitter.com/9CG2D3F6F3
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2015 12:01
  • Cameron reveals new pound coin design. http://t.co/9CG2D3F6F3
David Schneider twitter profile image
Join me today in my Election-Bribe-Posing-As-Long-Term-Economic-Plan #Budget2015 drinking game. I suspect we'll get hammered. 🍺🍻🍺🔨🔨
Updated via Twitter for iPhone at 18 Mar 2015 11:34
David Schneider twitter profile image
"Wonder if this state of war, brutality and international isolation can be made worse. I know! I'll vote Netanyahu again!" - Israeli voters.
Updated via TweetDeck at 18 Mar 2015 10:17

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